When do you know that you have found “the right one?” For me, I was reminded about how much he brought out in me when I listened to and viewed the musical carousel I just purchased for my coffee table. Michael was seven years older than me, intelligent, an outdoors man, and an Air Force trained electrical engineer. Although I have always fancied myself to love the navy, Michael flew into my life with confidence, a carefully crafted world view that he was not afraid to talk about, and who knew right from wrong. I always knew that he would defend his family, whether it meant the loss of his life or not. Integrity, honesty, loving, and trustworthy were his core values with his faith in God as the foundation.
We were very different in our up bringing, but we were like two peas in a pod. What was different between us we simply kissed away, together, into a love that far surpassed anything we both had ever known. We addressed every morning with, “Have I told you how much I love you today?” To which, we responded with a loving kiss and a warm hug. Nothing eclipsed that morning assurance of love; nothing surpassed going to be bed in love, not anger. In between, there were times for ourselves and times for being together. There were times for our pets, Sammy and Mikie; there were times to put everything in its place before we returned to us.
We met in our senior years, but we both brought many experiences to our relationship, some good and some not so good. It was that richness of events and decisions that made us such a loving couple. I wish I could counsel your couples today to cherish every minute you have together because divorce does not heal your heart if you have never come to terms with your own inabilities to compromise. Time is fleeting, and we need to hold onto what God has blessed. The vows we make on that special day should be the glue that holds us together, not what the world offers. Michael and I were not a perfect couple, but we knew that our vows we made to God were the foundation of who we would become as a couple. We worked hard, together, and no man was going to break our love for one another. Because Christ was the foundation, nothing would tear us apart, even Michael’s cancer. If anything, the cancer made us cherish each moment as if it were our last together.
I miss Michael every day, and I wish we could have more of those morning assurances and more of the loving nights. Life is not like that, and I understand that I must face the future without him. So as the musical carousel plays Christmas carols, I fondly remember Michael’s love and thank God that I had the love of my life for three and a half years. No one can ever take those years from me or the kisses and hugs that I miss so much. As I look at the three crosses on the living room wall, I am reminded that we will see each other again. Isn’t that the vow we take when we say, “To death do us part?” When you find your “home” in someone else’s heart, defend it with all your heart, soul, and mind. God will open another window for your heart, maybe in an entirely new area. All you need do is to believe in the promise of Christmas: “God is with us, Emmanuel.”
Anna Hartt
