I’ve been sitting at this same desk, writing throughout the pandemic for over a year, wondering what America would be like when this disease was beginning to be controlled, and saying to myself, “Am I ready to be normal again?”  My next questions were, “What will other Americans do when we emerge from our cocoon-homes? Will we have learned that life is precious and should not be taken for-granted?  Will we have learned that love and caring about others is the only answer to all of our problems?  Will we put God back into the center of our words, actions, and deeds?”  When I awoke from my quarantine and hesitantly stepped out of my cocoon, these are the things that stared glaringly back at me.

We’re still fighting the same racial problems because we don’t want to see the sins our country committed to develop the in- humane economies of the southern states.  Political parties are aggressively fighting each other for power because one party’s former president made it O.K. to be a bully.  White supremacist groups have grown in violence because that same president said, “We love you,” as those groups stormed the halls of Congress while using our flag as a weapon to harm policemen trying to protect elected officials and democracy.  I wonder if the truth about the last election will ever come out, but there are factions in the government that want to make sure certain groups of people do not get to vote in the next elections because those individuals are changing voting laws in many states.  I question whether all Americans will get their vaccinations to protect themselves, their families, and everyone else so that COVID-19 will become a disease of the past or at least, more under control.  Have my eyes been closed to all of the ethnic problems that exist here or am I just waking up to the fact that I would not have been  born here due to immigration laws in the early 20th century that forbade my Hungarian grand parents from becoming citizens?  Mass shootings and violent encounters with people seem to have become the normal way to handle confrontations rather than a once-in-a-while situation to settle arguments.  In my own town, I am afraid to have anything to do with the police because they seem to be afraid to come out of the station for fear of being violently attacked by some crazed individual.  I now have a security system in my house to hopefully ward off strangers and keep a connection with both the police and the fire stations.  In every situation, love seems to have disappeared from our souls.

The most bothersome thing that troubles me is how our American flag, the red, white, and blue, is now being used by different groups of people as their own personal or group form of protest rather than as our sacred, all-encompassing symbol of the American spirit, courage, determination, compassion, caring, and integrity.  Our flag represents everything good about America, and unfortunately, it also stands for the bad that has occurred here and around the world.  It tears my heart apart when I see “Old Glory” burned in other countries out of hatred for this nation, but it makes me cry even more when some Americans think it’s not good enough to stand for all of us.  Blood was shed for every American, not just White Americans, Black Americans, Asian Americans, Native Americans, the police, egotistical presidents, para-military groups, and every other group that feels their rights are being trampled on.  This country was built by the combined hard work of every single group of people.  We are all equal in the eyes of God, and in His eyes, we are one nation protected by one flag.

I worry that America has lost its soul while in quarantine.  We’re coming out of our homes wanting to stump on people rather than breathe the fresh air of our beautiful country.  Our flag should stand as the symbol of freedom and brotherly love.  I fear we have lost our core beliefs and quite possibly, our faith in God, in our nation, and in each other.  I, for one, want to be able to cry again with pride when I see our flag in a parade or draped over a coffin of one who has paid the supreme sacrifice for us.  I pray every day that we will return to God who gave us all our rights and privileges and that we will once again loudly say, “One Nation Under God with Liberty, Justice, and Love for All.”

Anna Hartt