What do these words have in common: trust and triumph, joy and pain, warmth and wonder, friendship and peace? The answer is our children, and let’s not forget how much our children have gone through in the past three years, with or without their parents. What do a stick-ball playing Jewish boy and a French Jewish girl who saw her father killed by the Nazis in 1944 have in common? Fast forward to 2022 and what do the children of Uvalde, Texas, Columbine, Colorado, Parkland, Florida, and Sandy Hook Elementary, Connecticut have in common? All of the above words with three additional words: fear, anxiety, and hate.
As adults, we think we are teaching our children how to be kind and caring individuals, to know right from wrong, to love rather than to hate, to realize that friendship means standing by your friends and listening to their hearts, to cherish being an American citizen, and that God loves every single one of them, regardless of who they are or what color their skin is. If we truly evaluate how we are raising our children, we soon realize they are teaching us by their spirits, souls, minds, and actions. We tell them there are things in life that we don’t want to do and believe we are incapable of doing, but we must use the talents and abilities that God has given us to do what He wants us to do. I am a firm believer that even adults sometimes shirk their duties as God’s children. When fear, anxiety, and hate creep into our actions, the eight words I mentioned in this blog seem to slip into the backgrounds of our lives, stopping us from doing what we want our children to do. So, it should not be a surprise when our children exhibit more of our values than we do.
Our children are clones of us, sometimes withdrawing from what’s right, being frustrated when things don’t work out, yelling when no one is listening, or trying to be empathetic towards those who are less fortunate and helping them re-gain a little of their lives back. Sometimes, all it takes is a little childhood song like “Frere Jacques” to help us bridge the gap between not talking and really listening to each other’s viewpoints. It’s hard for many adults to offer protection when someone is hurting, and it may mean we have to spend more time with that person instead of being with our friends who we are more comfortable with. We are truly making a difference in that person’s life when we walk in their shoes.
Even if it’s harder to be a leader among people whom we know are doing evil things, we must show our children that being courageous is more important than following the wrong people into the darkness. When people are ridiculed or made fun of, we must proclaim right from wrong, law from lawlessness, life from death, values from no values at all. Learning to trust someone is the first step towards reaching out in love to another, and apologizing for our words and behaviors tells the hurt person that we truly seek their forgiveness, a grace that Christ wants us always to give to the world.
Loving people means putting your own needs aside so that everyone can know their own greatness. Sharing means knowing when to step back and letting the other person use your things, your personal time, and your own space. It means reaching out your hand to an otherwise fearful person. When all the walls finally come down, a truly loving communication happens. Caring means when you see a person hurting, you do everything in your power to make that person’s world a blessing rather than a curse. When you give of yourself, you expect nothing in return because “it is better to give than to receive.”
The movie that so sweetly showed all of the traits we want our children to exhibit was “Alan and Naomi,” but I want to recognize how our children today are more our teachers than our students. By their courage amid horrible tragedies in our schools, our towns and cities, and even in their own homes, they are showing us their capacities for trust and triumph, joy and pain, warmth and wonder, friendship and peace. They are the true heroes of every situation we have placed them into; they are the ones who are asking us to be more responsible in loving them. They shouldn’t have to live up to our expectations for ourselves because they already have higher goals, are experiencing more than we ever had to do as children, want a better world than we have left them, and already know that God has chosen them to do great and exciting things with Him. As a retired teacher, I am grateful every day that they have taught me how to love others and how to accept it in return, for it is in the act of loving that I have become their student.
Anna Hartt
