Personal losses of parents, spouses, and friends can be truly the most agonizing times in a person’s life, but of all of my own losses, losing my mother was the most wrenching loss to me and my family. My dad never recovered from her loss, and my brother withdrew into studying his rocks. Many adults knew how much God meant to me, could see the moral values I was raised with, and felt my witness to God’s love in my musical talents.
Jesus Christ was the reason for God’s grace and hope in my life. God’s plan for me was based on my strong faith that He would continue to guide me, even though there were many road blocks along the way. Through my music, I found a way to humbly let my light, His light, shine. “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father, which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16-KJV) Once I knew the power of kindness and how to share it, the sky was no limit for everything God guided me through. I found the courage to sing and play my pain, and through that courage, people were moved, and those who did not know Christ witnessed God’s love and grace through hearing me perform.
Music was my outlet for self-expression in school, and I excelled in many different instrumental and vocal areas. One element of my musical development was the acceptance I received from my classmates. Their small kindnesses helped me to move forward when I felt so alone and abandoned by my great loss. Many teachers in different subjects gave me room to experiment and to achieve higher academic challenges within a broad spectrum of hope, grace, and caring. Many of them allowed my light to shine, even when I was struggling with finding my place in different social settings.
When I became a teacher several years into my career, I had a ninth grade student, Shelly, who became pregnant. I became her at-risk counselor after I found out her parents had kicked her out of the house, and she was living in a cardboard box under the football stadium seats. Shelly managed to take a shower in her gym class, but her cloths were always dirty. She was hungry, so I brought her bagged lunches and something to drink every day. I offered several nights to take her home with me so that she could sleep in a clean bed, but she didn’t think that was right because her parents should be doing that. She was determined to make her own way, no matter how hard it was.
Many people think teenagers are self-absorbed and self-centered (and many are), but one afternoon, I witnessed Christ’s love in the actions of another young lady, Mary. Mary put her arm around Shelly, and she began to quietly talk to Shelly about her problem. After school that day, I saw Shelly eating a hamburger and fries with Mary at the local McDonald’s. I did not have to turn to my Bible to realize that Mary’s kindness was “Christ with flesh on.” Throughout the week, Mary and Shelly were inseparable, and the grace of God shone on both for all to see. After talking to Shelly in our sessions, I learned Mary had arranged through her own parents to have Shelly stay with them until Shelly’s parents were willing to take her back in. I also learned that Mary took Shelly to see her own doctor for prenatal care. It seems forgiveness was not one of Shelly’s family values; in time, Shelly’s parents realized that grace comes in all types of forgiveness. Through the grace of a Christian teenager, Shelly’s parents realized that they needed Shelly in their family as much as Shelly wanted to be a mother and take responsibility for her child not yet born.
Dealing with loss comes with many issues, but if we keep the love of Christ at our heart’s center, we can move forward through the kindnesses of others and their lights shining through our dark times. When I was a teenager, I could be myself without being criticized by my peers. When I was a teacher, I learned love changes schools when kids are allowed to bring their Christian beliefs with them. And as a retired person, I know this powerful truth: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16-KJV) We can accomplish many Christian acts of kindness when we know that Jesus Christ “is the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6-KJV)
Anna Hartt
